Once into the kiss, the proper mindset has a lot to do with successful kissing. Too often, the mind starts racing ahead, wondering where the kiss is leading,worrying if everything is going right, and basically messing things up. The single most important thing to remem- ber is to ENJOY THE KISS. This is what it's all about... the simplest and greatest of pleasures, the soft friction, the tender wetness.. kissing is great. Possibly the greatest. So enjoy it.
The best way to quiet the chattering brain is to simply concentrate on the moment of the kiss. Really feel what your mouths, lips, tongues, and bodies are doing. Kiss as if there is no moment outside of this, there are no people outside of the 2 of you.
Trust us, your partner will be able to tell if you are really concentrating, and will appreciate it even if they aren't aware. Of course, kissing doesn't generally require the level of concen- tration necessary to bend spoons for example, and your partner may take that furrowed brow and bulging eyes as a sign you're not totally enjoying yourself. By concentration we mean really be INTO the kiss... don't be thinking about a lot of other stuff. Odds are, you've invested a lot of time and effort to get to this point.so ENJOY IT!.
Don't miss the moment. savor it.Once you're really into a kiss, you're probably already working toward that middle ground. Depending on how they kiss, the situation, how you kiss, etc., there are lots of factors going on. Just work on adjusting yourself a bit to fit to their style, while helping them adjust to yours. Lead by example... heck, the braver amongst us could just tell their partner what they like (just be sure to do it in a positive manner, or you could really ruin the mood.
Do what you like, and if you like something, let them know it (see Feedback). If you don't reward the good and discourage the bad, how will they ever learn?
Eyes
This aspect of kissing focuses on the age-old debate:
What do I look at Eyes?
open or closed?
Do I look like a fish?
Sadly, we can't really give you a definitive answer on this one. We do find it best to keep your eyes open at least while 'going in' for the kiss, to avoid unpleasant collisions or total misses. Though you can often play these off with lines like "No baby, I really meant to kiss your eyebrow" it's generally best to at least try to hit the lips. Once engaged, however, general decorum usually calls for closed eyes, at least for starters.
You may find that eyes closed really help you concentrate on other things, like the kiss itself (see Mindset).Eyes open is also a very viable option,however, and should not be dismissed out of hand. Open eyes may just be a way to sneak a peek at your kissing partner, whether to gauge their reaction, reassure yourself that yes, they really ARE that good looking, or any other reconnaissance.
Eyes full open can also be intense, in sort of a spiritual connec- tion, windows-to-the-soul sorta way. Like every other aspect of kissing, you'll have to find your own style...but for starters, eyes closed generally helps with precision and concentration, two of the most important aspects for new kissers.
Kissing, as with most mouth-related past times, can be a water sport. Saliva isobviously inseparable from the mouth, so you've gotta learn to deal with it. And likemany other aspects of kissing, spit control treads a fine line between ecstasy and awfulness. The one issue that comes uprepeatedly on accounts of bad kisses is saliva control... or lack thereof.
So get a hold of your spit!.A good kiss should definitely be a little moist... nothing grows in the desert! An ofcourse, if you're using your tongue at all, the kiss WILL be somewhat wet. This is fine.The trouble lies when "a little " turns into a torrent".
Very few people like to be doused with drool... especially early on in the kissing experience. So start fairly dry, getting a bit wetter as the kiss progresses.If you feel like there's entirely too much drool happening, just swallow some of it.Yes, you will swallow some of your partner's saliva. Sorry, but that's all part of kissing.
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